1/07/2010

新年第一炮:玩马来一下

在国会走廊:

国安部长:我要郑重宣布,政府不会阻止那些抗议高庭对‘阿拉’判决的游行示威.
记者:政府一贯的立场不是都反对游行示威的吗?因为这不是我们的文化。
国安部长:我们不能阻止人民表达他们的感受.
记者:那为什么政府却不准‘反对ISA联盟’ 的集会呢?

日落西山仿佛没有预测到记者会问这个问题。

国安部长:哼,前提是不能危害到国家安全
记者:怎么才算是危害到国家安全呢?

日落西山开始有点不耐烦了。

国安部长:哎,这些东西政府会决定的。
记者:反对ISA,要求干净与公正选举如何危害国家了?
国安部长这...
记者:那些拿着牛头当街示威,发表充满挑拌性言论地为什么不会危害到国家安全呢?
国安部长: Err... 好啦好啦,我们今天只谈‘阿拉’ 的示威,不谈其他的示威。你们如果没有其他问题那么记者会就到此结束。

才在几个月前
KPI部长:国安部今年的KPI到达120%。堪称表现超膘,国之栋梁!

那么KPI部长自己的KPI呢?


在另一厢:

总检察长:我现在郑重宣布,警方已经调查完毕,战机引擎已证实被偷运往到南美洲国家了。我们将会提控两名分别是底阶级士兵与公司董事的嫌疑犯。必须强调的是,没有任何高级军官直接或间接涉及此案件。
记者:请问被偷运到南美洲的哪一个国家?
总检察长:乌拉圭。这很重要吗?
记者:听说南美洲国家人民的英语水准都不好,他们只讲当地的本土语言。仅仅只是底阶级士兵的如何与他们沟通? 交易是如何达成的?
总检察长:所以我们提控那位公司董事啊。
记者:What?
总检察长:oh...sorry sorry, 我的意思是那位公司董事是中间人。既然成为公司董事,英语水平自然了得。
记者:我们刚才是说南美洲国家人民的英语水准都不好,他们只讲当地的本土语言。
总检察长:啊??? Err... 我们今天只谈引擎不谈语文。如果你们没有其他问题,记者会到此结束。



剧情纯属虚构
如有雷同;纯属巧合

7/17/2009

我们是东方好莱坞

实在不明白为何大马无论是电影电视都不入流。
导演天天抱怨无法遇到好剧本根本就是荒谬绝伦的借口。

因为我们的国家天天都在上演精采绝伦的剧情。如果拍成电影或是电视剧,TVB 和好莱坞都要靠边站。而且部部都可以贴上“True Story” 。

不信?看看。。。

蒙古女郎炸尸案 - 美国的CSI不用来
巴拉失踪案 –TVB 的“人间蒸发” 没得来
细历光碟案 - 香港的“偷窥无罪” 光碟无人问津
巫统党选 - 香港电影“金钱帝国” 可以打包
霹雳变天 - 香港的“无间道” 靠边站
大马阿窿的故事 - 无线的“O记实录” 闪一边
PKFZ - 可以媲美“水门事件”
赵明福之死 - 无线的“法证先锋” 小儿科

如果大马好好发展影视业的话,我们绝对可以取代香港成为“东方好莱坞” 。
因为类似的情节还在不断的上演着。一部…一部…一部…接一部……

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天理何在?

天底下有哪一个国家的反贪污局是可以在没有warrant情况下在他人办公室进出自如的?
天底下有哪一个国家的反贪污局是可以在没有warrant情况下扣留私人财务的?
天底下有哪一个国家的反贪污局是可以让人走进去却躺着出来的?
天底下有哪一个国家的反贪污局是可以说“我什么都不知道” ?

一个疑点重重的案件,再加上死者过两天就要和女友注册结婚了。任稍有头脑的人都知道他杀的可能性最大。可是今天一翻开报纸,警方竟然说会以自杀的方向调查!

天理何在?

炸尸案可以没有主谋,现在连人也可以无缘无故死在反贪局!

如果CSI和法证先锋来马取材,收视率肯定打破记录!

到底马来西亚还有法律吗??


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7/16/2009

解读玛力勿莱州补选

回教党虽在刚结束的玛力勿莱州补选中取胜,可是却胜得非常狼狈。多数票从308大选的1352张多数票锐减到只有区区的65张多数票。对于这个成绩不能不说是预料之外。毕竟回教党在投票还没结束前就声称透过民意调查其候选人将以至少2000张多数票获胜。成绩出炉证明回教党的民意调查机构根本无法掌握民意。回教党务必检讨并找出源头为何调查会和实际民意相差那么远。毕竟民意掌握的准确度对竞选策略非常关键。


这次选举成绩所带来的涵义,基本上可以从3个层面去探讨。

首先,回巫密谈是否会在回教党内死灰复燃取决于回教党如何诠释这次的选举结果。
为什么回教党会在这个向来被视为堡垒区以及超过99%为马来选民的选区流失那么多的选票? 是否马来选民不满意回教党拒绝马来人大团结会谈所导致?是否马来选民希望发展? 还是巫统的金钱政治奏效?回教党内的亲巫统派系一定会抢诠释主导权。拒绝回巫密谈的Nik Aziz派系肯定会承受很大的压力。无论如何,Nik Aziz的威望一定会因为这次的选举而大打折扣。

其次,城市的马来选民是否已经转为支持巫统?
308大选国阵之所以惨败,最主要是因为城市的马来选民反国阵。城市的马来选民回到Kampung叫自己的家庭成员也反国阵,结果才有308大海啸。纳吉一上台,就通过EPU(Economy Planning Unit) 发出了很多很多的F级工程于马来承包商。城市的马来人也因此受惠。这会不会是城市的马来选民在这次补选中导向巫统的主要原因呢?

其三,霹雳州会不会宣布解散议会?会不会提早大选?
前一阵子就有传言说纳吉将会在玛力勿莱补选后宣布解散霹雳州议会以进行州选举。事实是否如此?我们应该很快就会知道。如果霹雳州举行选举不但可以被解读为国阵服从民意还政于民,还可以成为是否提早大选的试金石。如果还要更安全些,国阵大可制造一场混合选区的补选,看看民意是否真的归顺国阵再决定是否解散霹雳州议会也不迟。


补选成绩出炉后,纳吉表示虽然这场补选算是国阵在精神上的胜利,但绝对不能当作已经通过考验,必须谨慎行事。由此可见,纳吉是一个非常实际不会好高务远的首相。同时他也是一位可以为了选票而典当所有一切的首相。

最后,值得一提的是在补选后的第一天,大马股市创下了过去11个月以来的新高。这是否可以被解读为补选成绩受到市场的欢迎呢?




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7/14/2009

料事如神

八十年代邓小平访问美国,刚出门就被一群记者拦住了,恰翻译不在,美国记者又想考考邓小平英语,就开始提问了。

第一个问题是:美国首都是哪里?
邓小平想,见面第一个问题肯定是先问姓,就用四川土话回答:我姓邓(Washington)
记者想,啊,继续问:您的夫人来了都做了什么事?
邓小平想,该问名了吧,回答:小平(shopping)
记者想,这英语可以啊,来了就购物,又接着问:您如何出行?
邓小平想,该问年纪了吧,回答:80(bus)
记者都说,这英语可以啊,不行,得问点难的不回答的,问:您认为台湾下任领导会是谁?
邓小平怎么都等不到翻译回来,不耐烦了,说:你等会(李登辉)
记者大吃一惊,这么敏感的问题也对答如流,估计翻译也该回来了,赶紧再问个:下个呢?
邓小平已经很不高兴了,说:随便啦(水扁啦)
这时候翻译已经走过来了,记者问最后一个:二十一世纪初期人类面临的最大问题是什么?
邓小平黑着脸说:啥事(SARS)

二十年后,美国记者感叹,邓小平真是一代伟人,料事如神!

7/13/2009

Climate Change


Today, international action against climate change is urgent and imperative. There should be no more debate on the destructive impacts due to climate change as these shall be as unequivocal reality and beyond scientific doubt.

The impacts on global economic of climate change are terrified. Countries whose economy heavily rely on agricultural production will be hit badly with the possibly of reduction in crop yields. In some African countries, for example, yields could decline by as much as 50% by 2020. As a result, the world may see price hike of food supply. The collateral effect will be political instability in third world countries where people suffer from expensive food end up in riots. Therefore climate change will precipitate what already weaken economy of these countries to the worst.

Climate change would also lead to increase water stress. Contaminated water resulted from flood not only affecting people daily life but also become the medium of pandemic diseases. The direct consequence will be increase cost of social welfare and public insurance. Not to mention that the economic losses due to damage on ecosystems, infrastructures, property and threat to life as a result of coastal flooding.




In order to mitigate climate change, we must reduce the emission of CO2 and this involves the choices of technology. Incentives shall be given by the authorities to the investors. Therefore, we can foresee that in the future more and more clean and green technology compliance products will be developed and promoted to the market. Company who do not adapt to this change of product roadmap will be outperformed and marginalized in the market.

CO2 emission quota will be tradeoff internationally. However, this measure will not abate climate change as countries that in need of bigger CO2 emission quota will trade with countries with less emission and continue to consume fossil fuel. Ethically, this is not a good practice as only rich countries consume energy as long as they pay to the poor. The effort to develop green technology will be unmotivated as well.

As for Malaysia, our palm oil export will be hit as higher environmental protection standards imposed by western countries like RSPO-Route Table on Sustainable Palm Oil. Unless Malaysia achieves the certificate or our palm oil will be boycott by the western buyers. Not only palm oil but other sectors like electronic and semiconductor manufacturing may face similar export requirements.

On the positive side, Malaysia economy could be stirred by producing plants that can be used to produce bio fuel in large scale. Private sector may invest in renewable energy development to provide clean and green technology compliance products to the market.

In retrospect, nothing has ever brought all human so close and so imperative together to combat a common problem than climate change. The United State, as the biggest CO2 emitter can no longer antagonistic in signing KYOTO protocol and should join the body soonest possible echoing Obama’s administration green policy.

Save the world by combating climate change is not something insurmountable challenge. However, world leaders and policy makers must scrupulous toward the steps and measures.
Developing countries must work hand in hand with developed countries without any prejudice and the later shall assist developing countries in term of monetary or green technology transfers.
In recent G8 summit held in Italy, the eight richest nations in the world first time have reached to a consensus to reduce worldwide emission by 50% in year 2050. Unfortunately, no concrete path has been outlined to address how this goal is to be achieved. BRIC-Brasil, Russia, India and China collaboration and cooperation must not only be confined in economic scale but also addressing climate change. Only an UNITED and UNDIVIDED world’s effort can possibly achieve victory in this war.

This is the war that will decide the destiny of our future generation.


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